Let Your Light Shine

Tonight I went to a CA meeting. Cocaine Anonymous is another recovery room where addicts can go to listen to other cocaine addicts tell their stories.

This drug problem in our society is such an epidemic. I cannot believe how many people have been infected by cocaine and all other mind altering drugs. What is worse?

Having a substantial amount of clean time behind you and then throwing your hands into the air and giving up. That is worse. God does not want us to abuse our bodies like that. He doesn't want us to go back into the darkness once we have found the light. He wants us to let our lights shine bright so we can light the way for another addict.

Never give up Hope. There is Hope for the addicts and alcoholics in this world. All I had to do was step into a room called Narcotics Anonymous or NA for short. Then I heard about the room called CA. When I stepped in there I looked around and I could see a whole room full of people who are suffering with me. They listened to me babble in my early days and didn't judge me. They accepted me for who I am because they were once in my shoes.

They said it would work if I kept coming back so I did. Today I have Faith in the program. All it takes is coming to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. Believe in the program first. Just for today. And then tomorrow will come and we repeat the same thing. Believe in the program. Just for today. One day at a time. Call a friend if you feel like giving up. Pray to God to help you stay clean today.

I spent a long time trying to figure out how it was even possible for me to get into such a horrible position in life. I was the little girl who dressed up in pink dresses on Sundays and skipped into Sunday School Class. I loved it there. I sang the Bible story songs and listened intently to my teacher. I even received a little black Bible for memorizing my first Bible verse. I was so proud of that Bible. I still have it today and I think it is the only verse I ever read out of it.

Now I have about three or four different Bibles. Isn't it sad that it took me almost thirty years to really start reading. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. I continued on my childhood in Sunday School and Pioneer Girls, Brownies, Youth Groups and finally Bible Camp for two summers. I had no idea that would be the end of my spiritual growth - until now.

After years of struggling with my spirituality it led me down the path of darkness. I pretended to be happy in my marriage for the sake of my children. I always knew there was something missing in my life and it wasn't just my dad. I was missing my relationship with my Higher Power. I knew He existed because I always remembered being in Church as a kid and all those Bible stories I heard.

The darkness finally turned to light again. Four months ago today I took my last hoot off the crack pipe! I no longer regret the past or wish to close the door on it. The past is what has gotten me to Today. Today I live to tell my story and maybe that story can help one more person turn their back on crack.