No one ever said that recovery from addiction or alcoholism would be easy. It is much easier to submerge ourselves with drugs and alcohol than it is to feel. Who wants to be a blubbering idiot anyway right?
I do. I would rather feel the feelings that I have locked away than puff on the pipe again. The unrealistic feelings I remember when I was high are so far from reality. I found myself crying out to anyone who would listen but the problem was that all of my associates were just as much an addict as I am. I am accepting the things I cannot change and realizing that I am a recovering addict and it is ok to be me.
I know I will always have a problem with drugs now but what I am understanding is that there is a way to recover. Addiction is a disease but unlike some diseases this one can be cured. It is called Narcotics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous. One day at a time is all it takes to be free from active addiction. I pray to God everyday to keep me free from addiction. I pray for His will for me and repeat the Serenity Prayer as often as I need to. The 12 steps of recovery have a spiritual foundation that I have found to be the strength I needed to start building my bridge to a better place.
What other people think of me is none of my business. I only hope that my experiences with drugs might help someone who still suffers.
Now that I am learning to live better I am going to be able to do better.
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2 comments:
How wonderful, you have started your bridge. Starting is the hardest part and possibly your bridge is going to be a very short one in length.
Jean
Keep on walking....God love you and so do I
mom
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