Friendship Is Forever

I took a little trip today. A few thoughts and a few pictures of my past brought me back to a place in my life where I was happy. A child eagerly looking for the future to bring an abundance of happiness and dreams come true.

Our family friends from when I was a child took my dad and I on a fabulous three day journey through time. We had a chance to go out on their boat and visit some of the places I had been to when I was a teenager. I was just looking at her blog, beautifulbritishcolumbia.blogspot.com. It was in there that I came across the photos of my dad and I and Kent and Heather and Hugo on our journey together.

It always helps me to remember where I came from. It helps me to look past the worst and remember the best of me. Kent and Heather were like my second family. I remember when my dad moved back to Australia I felt a huge loss in my life and when I visited with Kent and Heather they always made me feel loved. Kent and my dad were really good friends and I considered Kent like a dad to me. Heather was always like a sister to me, only because we are so much alike and I am too old to be her daughter.

I didn't realize how much Kent and Heather impacted my life until dad and I saw them again. They are the friends for lifetime that we rarely come across in our lives. Time stands still and no matter how far we travel or how seldom we communicate they are always in our hearts.

Their daugher Crystal was born when I was barely twelve years old and she was my best friend from the day I held her for the first time. When we took skiing trips together I was always with Kent and Heather just so I could be near Crystal. I loved that little girl more than I ever thought was possible to love another human being. She too was a huge part of my life. I always thought about her over the years and wondered if she remembered me.

It was a life changing experience when I found myself surrounded by this part of my life that I left behind. I began to think about all those memories of friendship and love instead of misery and regret. I remembered all the things I am grateful for and I also had a chance to revisit a past that I thought didn't exist.

Thank you Kent, Heather, Sean and Crystal for being a part of my life. We were like family and we spent so much time together and I will carry those memories with me always.

I am coming up to six months of sobriety in my recovery and the emotions are like a rollercoaster. I thought it would be easy sailing once I came home from treatment! Not! I am at a really good place in my life and things are moving in the right direction for me and my kids, however, I am also starting to feel hurts that I am used to hiding behind with drugs.

I am aware of things happening around me and I am learning to listen really well too. My brain isn't spinning in all directions and confused about life anymore. I regret not listening to my sponsors months ago because they are right and I chose to ignore what they were saying. My biggest hurt is that my kids were hurt and I was completely responsible this time.

The reason relationships don't work in early recovery is because we don't have the tools to make a successful relationship. We can't change each other, we can only change ourselves.......

Letting go of the people we love is not as easy as it sounds but once I learned how to do that I was able to accept them for the people they are and started to ask God to help them.

My life is a struggle if I try to do the things that God doesn't want for me. He has a plan for my life and I am willing to let Him guide me to that end.

If I don't spend time talking to Him during the day then I watch my life turn back to chaos and darkness. It doesn't take much for that to happen if I don't keep my focus on my Higher Power.

I thank God I am alive today and I am grateful for the people who have helped me to get to this place in my life.