Don't quit when the feelings start to flow. Don't give up when you feel like the world is out to get you. Don't walk away when it starts to feel like you are all alone. Talk to your sponsor and lean on your Higher Power for guidance. They will always be there. They know what works because they have been there before.
For the first time in my life I learned what it FEELS like to step back from someone I love because I love him. I realized for the first time what it FEELS like to love someone and what it feels like to have to let God take care of him because I can't.
My eyes have never been this wide open. Absence really does make my heart grow fonder but it also makes the spirit grow inside me. I am coming into my sixth month of sobriety soon and I am only now seeing for myself what I have been hearing for months because it is happening to me.
My mind isn't filled with so much chaos and confusion anymore. It is filled with rational thoughts and real feelings. I am learning to feel how much it hurts to walk away from someone I love even after the pain he caused me both physically and emotionally. The big eye opener is realizing it isn't my soon to be ex-husband that I am feeling this for but the boyfriend that I shouldn't have had this early in recovery.
I am so grateful for the people that I have in my life who are supporting me through this journey. I am capable of making decisions and telling the truth about what is going on in my heart and willing to listen to what I know is right for me.
I thank God daily for the blessings I have received and I am able to see the changes around me when I try to take my own will back.
Thank you all for being a part of my life.
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